How to Handle Failure as an Athlete

Hey Atypical community,

I’m sitting here in the Porto airport after a tough stretch.

Over the past five weeks, I’ve played only three games, had disappointing performances, and my knee has been slow to respond to rehab.

To top it off, just two days ago, we took a heavy loss to our rivals.

My wife and I are heading to Madrid in a few hours for some much-needed time off.

As I take a step back and reflect, I can’t shake the feeling of failure.

With that in mind, I wanted to share some thoughts on how I personally navigate failure, and I hope these resonate with some of you in the Atypical community.

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4-Step Process to Handle Failure

1. Let It Hurt

Failure is inevitable.

Everyone will experience it, and it sucks.

It stings because it challenges the person we think we are, forcing us to confront our imperfections.

It reminds us that there’s still so much work to do.

It’s totally normal to feel negative emotions after a failure.

But I challenge you to sit with that pain.

Feel it fully.

Lean into it.

This step is crucial because it allows us to use failure as fuel for growth.

2. Give It Space

Once you’ve felt the sting of failure, give yourself some space.

The hardest part here is not letting your emotions consume you.

We tend to attach our identity to how we feel, but we are not our emotions.

To break free from the cycle, physically remove yourself from the environment tied to those feelings.

Go somewhere new—a walk, a different coffee shop, or in my case, a quick trip to Madrid.

This allows you to reset and gain some perspective.

3. Revist with the Intention to Learn

Now that you’ve given yourself space, it’s time to reflect.

This step is key—failure can only lead to growth if we take the time to learn from it.

Some questions to consider when reflecting:

• What events were within my control that led to this?

• How could I have handled this better?

• What areas of myself need improvement for better results?

• What’s the reality of my situation now?

• How will this failure shape my future challenges?

• What steps can I take today to start moving forward?

Self-reflection can be tough, especially when emotions are still high.

This is why step 2 is so important.

It’s hard work, but necessary for growth.

If you’re struggling, it can be helpful to go through this process with a trusted mentor or friend.

Just be sure they’re honest and supportive, not “yes-men.”.

4. Take Calculated Action

After feeling the pain, creating space, and reflecting, it’s time for action.

This Albert Einstein quote applies here.

To create change, we need to act differently, based on the insights we’ve gained from the previous steps.

The key is that it’s action.

Failure gives us the opportunity to try again—differently, with purpose.

Conclusion

This four-step process is how I handle failure, both as an athlete and as a person.

It’s not always easy or neat, but it’s essential if I want to become the person I aspire to be.

I encourage you to try it for yourself. If you’d like, feel free to share your process with me through a response to this email—I’m happy to offer feedback.

And if someone you know is dealing with failure, share this with them.

We can all help each other grow.

That’s what the Atypical community is all about..

I’ll Leave You With This:

They will scream your failures!

They will whisper your successes!

But, ‘they’ will never be in your arena.

They have not earned the chance to be there.

You have.

What matters is you and that arena.

Fuck ‘they’.

It is on you.

Until next time…

Atypical.

Trey